So What do You Say to Yourself...at Work??

I just received this book, first published 20 years ago, in the mail and find it to be so timely and still relevant – What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. He says “Self-Talk is a way to override our past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with conscious, positive new directions. It is a practical way to live our lives by active intent rather than by passive acceptance.” I love that. Read on to learn about 4 levels of Self-Talk and how to move through them:

Level I – Negative Acceptance (“I can’t…”)
This is the lowest, least beneficial, and most harmful mode of Self-Talk. Not only do we say bad things about ourselves, we go on to accept them as truth. Unfortunately it is the most frequently used. Be aware of your “I can’t’s” and move toward replacing them.

Level II - Recognition and Need to Change (“I need to…I should…”)
This level recognizes the problem but offers no solution, instead it recognizes that you need to make a change but are stuck in that place of recognition without any action steps, creating guilt and disappointment in ourselves. “I really should get up earlier”, “I need to enroll in that training class”.

Level III - Decision to Change (“I never…I no longer…”)
The first level that begins moving you in the right direction – you know the need for change and also make the decision to do something about it. You are beginning to rephrase the old “can’t’s” into more positive, present-tense statements. “I no longer argue with my coworker about our responsibilities” “I never speak crossly with my employees”.

Level IV - The Better You (“I am…”)
The most effective level that is used the least and is needed the most. Here you are creating a new picture of how you want to be and giving the words to your subconscious mind as its new program, replacing old “cannots” with “Yes I can’s”. These messages inspires us, encourages us, excites and pushes us forward. “I am organized and efficiently get things done easily and effortlessly”, “I am worthy of promotions and recognition.” “I believe in and respect myself.”

This process helps break down the years of negative programming that our brains are used to and begins feeding it new directions. He says that the “subconscious mind will believe anything you tell it if you tell it long enough and strongly enough. It will simply go to work to carry out its new directives.”

Helmstetter adds, “just listen to anything you may be saying to yourself that could be working against you, turn it around, and start using the Self-Talk that works for you.”

This is only the tip of the Self-Talk iceberg. Pick up a copy of the book and see for yourself. It’s an easy, beneficial read guaranteed to make you look closer at what you say to yourself.

What we say to ourselves sets us up for success or failure, creates possibility or shuts us down in the face of choices. This applies to perfectly to our work lives as well as personal. The messages you give yourself during the day affect your interactions with customers and colleagues, your ability to get things done, and ultimately to be doing the work you absolutely love to do.

This week: catch what you’re telling yourself and eliminate and replace that negative Self-Talk. Write it down and consciously work through the levels above. Put a positive message on a stickie note and place it where you’ll see it daily. (“I approve of myself” was in my car for many years) Begin reprogramming your brain to think highly of yourself and that you are capable of achieving your goals. Live the life you have imagined.

Drop me a line about what you say to yourself during the workday!