Time Management: Practice Saying "No"

“Just say no” sounds easy and makes sense when it comes to managing our time. However, feeling like we’re letting people down or not pulling our weight or doing what’s expected of us creeps into our thoughts and we find ourselves saying “yes” to things we really don’t want or have time to do. Here’s some refreshing advice from Jack Canfield in The Success Principles:

He reminds us that highly successful people say no all the time, “to projects, to crazy deadlines, to questionable priorities, and to other people’s crises.” In fact, he says, “they view the decision to say no as equally acceptable as the decision to say yes.”

In last week’s message, I offered an exercise to help put your priorities in line with what you want. It boils down to what I tell every individual and group I talk to: Take stock of what you want out of your life. Set your own standards for those 8 categories: Business/Career, Contribution/Giving, Financial, Fun/Leisure, Health, Personal, Relationships, and Spiritual. Define what you stand for in each area and put your stake in the ground. Then, when that question comes around asking for your commitment of time or money, you know the answer because you’ve clarified what’s important to you.

Here’s Jack’s suggestion on saying “no” in a tactful manner leaving you and the requestor in a win-win mode: He uses the response, “It’s not against you; it’s for me”. This means that instead of shutting someone down who’s making a well-intended request of you, go a bit further with acknowledging the importance of their request, then a brief explanation that your decision is not against them or their organization; it’s for you, your family and your own commitments. He says “Few people can get angry at you for making and standing by a higher commitment. In fact, they’ll respect you for your clarity and your strength.”

Turning down opportunities, requests to give, or participate in activities can be uncomfortable at first; with practice and constant review of your priorities and vision for the future, it becomes easier and empowering. Start out small – always go back to those 8 categories to remind yourself what matters most. You get to choose.

Time Management: Valuing Your Time

In keeping with this month’s theme of Time Management, here’s a quote from best-selling author. lecturer, and psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck:
“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”

And another from Stephen Covey in his book First Things First:
“Doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things.”

So, what are those “right things”? What matters most to us should be at the top of our goals and to-do lists. However, with our fast paced, information loaded society, that does not always happen and leaves us frustrated and stressed. Here’s an exercise to check yourself at this mid-year point and make sure you’re on the path of designing the life you want. Spend the bulk of your time doing what you love and on those things that bring the most meaning to your life:

On a sheet of paper or computer document, create a list with these 8 categories:
1. Business/Career
2. Contribution/Giving
3. Financial
4. Fun/Leisure
5. Health
6. Personal (includes development, education, growth)
7. Relationships
8. Spiritual

Under each section, write out your top goals for that area of your life. Go back and review, edit, and add. Beside each goal, write out the reward you will gain from accomplishing it. Then prioritize each list of goals in the order that will bring you the most satisfaction and bring balance to your life. Finally, on your list of reprioritized, meaningful goals, assign a target date for completing each of them. This list can now be easily incorporated into your daily planner system.

Valuing yourself and your time makes all the difference in your happiness. Slowing down to consciously decide where you want to spend your time, with whom, and doing what, puts you in control and helps you make the most of this thing called “Your Life”, of which you only have one of. Make time for the exercise described above and let me know how it works for you.

Time Management: Delegating the Monkeys

Having returned recently from a much-needed vacation, I am determined to not let so much time lapse between now and the next one, and prevent burn-out before I go again. That’s where better managing my time comes into play. To help you find time to plan your summer vacations and more fully enjoy leisure time with friends and family, this month’s theme is Time Management.

If you are a manager, one of the best skills you can develop for your success is that of the delegation of responsibilities to those who report to you. For those of us without direct reports, we must still build this skill and be aware of “monkeys” on our backs that could be better handled by someone else, thus giving us back control of our time.

In researching the topic of delegation for a leadership training session, I ran across an article from the Harvard Business Review entitled, “Management Time: Who’s got the Monkey?” I do not currently manage employees; however, this article had a huge impact on me and the way I look at my work load and time management skills.

The authors, William Oncken, Jr. and Donald Wass, say that there are 3 different kinds of management time: Boss-imposed time – needed to accomplish tasks required by the boss which cannot be disregarded; System-imposed time – for supporting the company and peers; and Self-imposed time – where we make decisions on what gets done with the rest of our time. What happens frequently in this Self-imposed area are those bad time management decisions we can only blame ourselves for – saying “yes” when we should have said “no”, and hanging onto those monkeys (responsibilities and tasks) that could be delegated, or worse, taking them back when we did give them away once already.

I thought about how many times I have held onto an activity or responsibility because “no one could do this as good or as quickly as me” or “it’s just easier to do it myself”. This applies to household chores and as well as paying someone to handle small business administrative tasks. In addition, and more embarrassing, are the times I took something back without thinking twice about it. A common example is giving tasks to volunteers or students, then when they ask for clarification on directions, I say “you know what? I’ll just go ahead and take care of this” rather than taking time to explain and completely hand off to someone else. There it is, unnecessarily back on my to-do list.

Notice the time management decisions you make with your valuable discretionary time. Double check your calendar and work load before saying “yes”. Check yourself on how well you are delegating to others, giving clear instructions, and then staying out of their way and letting them make decisions about completing a task. As the authors of this article say, “get control over the timing and content of what you do” by enlarging your discretionary time. Delegation is key.

I encourage you to read this article, which, by the way, was written in 1974! It is filled with great examples of a manager’s dilemmas in delegating and the monkeys he continues to battle, and then tame. Thirty plus years later, this concept is still so applicable today.
Please contact me if you'd like a copy.