Time Management: Practice Saying "No"

“Just say no” sounds easy and makes sense when it comes to managing our time. However, feeling like we’re letting people down or not pulling our weight or doing what’s expected of us creeps into our thoughts and we find ourselves saying “yes” to things we really don’t want or have time to do. Here’s some refreshing advice from Jack Canfield in The Success Principles:

He reminds us that highly successful people say no all the time, “to projects, to crazy deadlines, to questionable priorities, and to other people’s crises.” In fact, he says, “they view the decision to say no as equally acceptable as the decision to say yes.”

In last week’s message, I offered an exercise to help put your priorities in line with what you want. It boils down to what I tell every individual and group I talk to: Take stock of what you want out of your life. Set your own standards for those 8 categories: Business/Career, Contribution/Giving, Financial, Fun/Leisure, Health, Personal, Relationships, and Spiritual. Define what you stand for in each area and put your stake in the ground. Then, when that question comes around asking for your commitment of time or money, you know the answer because you’ve clarified what’s important to you.

Here’s Jack’s suggestion on saying “no” in a tactful manner leaving you and the requestor in a win-win mode: He uses the response, “It’s not against you; it’s for me”. This means that instead of shutting someone down who’s making a well-intended request of you, go a bit further with acknowledging the importance of their request, then a brief explanation that your decision is not against them or their organization; it’s for you, your family and your own commitments. He says “Few people can get angry at you for making and standing by a higher commitment. In fact, they’ll respect you for your clarity and your strength.”

Turning down opportunities, requests to give, or participate in activities can be uncomfortable at first; with practice and constant review of your priorities and vision for the future, it becomes easier and empowering. Start out small – always go back to those 8 categories to remind yourself what matters most. You get to choose.