Just Say "No" to Overcommittment!

Well, it’s starting to happen – solicitations for donations, invitations to holiday get-togethers, and numerous opportunities to volunteer during this season of giving. It all becomes overwhelming while we’re juggling our work and our own family commitments. Saying “no” is not easy for most of us - we get wrapped up in old stuff like others’ expectations of us, and our own definitions of success.

I found good advice in Jack Canfield’s Success Principles:
He reminds us that highly successful people say no all the time, “to projects, to crazy deadlines, to questionable priorities, and to other people’s crises.” In fact, he says, “they view the decision to say no as equally acceptable as the decision to say yes.”

I think the first step in doing this is exactly the first step I recommend in preparing for career review, promotion or transition. Take stock of what you want out of your life. Set your own standards for work hours, commute time, family time, and acceptable levels of salary, stress, and R & R days, financial management rules, donations, etc. Define what you stand for and put your stake in the ground. Then, when that question comes around asking for your commitment of time or money, you know the answer.

Jack adds that a response he’s found helpful to saying no is “It’s not against you; it’s for me”. This means that instead of shutting someone down who’s making a well-intended request of you, go a bit further with acknowledging the importance of their request, then a brief explanation that your decision is not against them or their organization; it’s for you, your family and your own commitments. He says “Few people can get angry at you for making and standing by a higher commitment. In fact, they’ll respect you for your clarity and your strength.”

So, this holiday season, as the invitations and requests come at you, remember what matters most. By the way, your peace of mind and good health should be at the top of that list! Say no to overcommitment and enjoy your work and your personal life in equal healthy doses.